


I Didn't Know

by SomniSol



Category: Durarara!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-08 00:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1920186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomniSol/pseuds/SomniSol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What Shizuo didn't know was that Izaya had been suffering. He had been alone for as long as he could remember and the only purpose he found in his life was trying to get Shizuo's attention. But when Shizuo gave up, so did Izaya. No one knew. Izaya always loved humans, but since he didn't consider himself a human, he couldn't love himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Didn't Know

_“365.”_

_It’s been a whole year. A whole year since…_

“Hello, Shizu-chan~”

“What do you want now flea?”

“I can’t just drop by and say hi? How is Ikebukuro’s famous monster doing today?”

“I’m not in the mood today.”

“Oh? I can change that.”

Suddenly I felt something like a rock hit the back of my head.

“IZAAAAAYAAAA!”

I couldn’t control myself anymore, I ran after that damn louse. He was fast, but today I was determined to catch him. 

“Catch me if you can Shizu-chan!”

He started laughing like a maniac and that only fueled me more! I wasn’t gonna give up until I had him by the neck!

“Get back here, you coward!”

“Why do you call me such names Shizu-chan? It’s quite hurtful!” he mocked me.

“Because you annoy the living hell out of me and everyone else! You ruin everyone’s lives!”

“How could you say that? I love my little humans!” he laughed again, but it sounded different.

Then something happened. Izaya tripped. _Izaya_ tripped. Izaya doesn’t trip, hell he doesn’t even stumble. Every step he takes is perfect, never a hint of distraction or fault. He’s precise, so then how did this happen?

It gave me a chance, so I quickly picked him up, pinning him against the hard brick wall.

“Congratulations. Shizu-chan caught me. What is the beast of Bukuro going to do now?” he darkly chuckled.

I raised my fist and I saw him flinch when I brought it down into the spot right next to his head. When he opened his eyes he stared at my fist that was still impaled in the wall, then back at me with wide eyes.

“What happened to wanting me dead? I though you wanted to kill me with your own hands! Or are you really just like all the other weak little humans?”

“STOP!” I shoved him again, “Just stop. I’m done.”

“What do you mea-“

“I mean I’m done, Izaya! I’m done with your shit! I’m done going after you! I’m tired of it all! You…you’re just not worth it. You never were and you never will be. I-I can’t believe it took me this long to figure it out…”

“Shizu…” his already quite voice faded.

“Don’t…don’t even start with that stupid name. I don’t care if you keep trying to bug me after this. I won’t even try anymore.” 

I pulled my fist back and let go of his jacket. I didn’t even want to look at his face. I turned away and didn’t even look back.

“Shizu-chan wait!” he grabbed my arm.

“You’re pathetic Izaya.” Then he released his grip.

***

That night Izaya went home. He didn’t even think about what had happened. He went straight to his medicine cabinet. He saw prescription pills that he was supposed to be taking, but never did. 

He thought he should finally catch up on all those doses. 

He then went to the kitchen to find a small but sharp knife, just in case.

He was so dizzy from the medication that he couldn’t even make it to his room anymore, so he settled for the couch.

Izaya only wanted to do one more thing, so he pulled out his phone and dialed a number that he always called. After a few rings, it picked up.

_“Hey, this is Shizuo. Can’t talk now, but leave a message.”_

“Goodbye…Shizu…”

His hand fell limp and the blood from his wrist dripped and dripped and dripped.

***

“Ah crap. My battery is dead.”

“What’s up Shizuo-kun?” Tom-san walked over.

“Someone called, but my phone died.”

“Did you see who it was?”

“No. Eh, it probably wasn’t important anyways.”

_Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?_

_Why Izaya?_

_Why…_

**Author's Note:**

> I did this because I've come close to suicide before and so have some of my friends. It's not fun and it's not a laughing matter. I know what it's like to hide, to be silent and to pretend for everyone. Don't lose to yourselves.


End file.
